Do you get upset when a parent is short-tempered with their child? Or feel a pang of sadness when a child goes unheard?
It is unrealistic to expect parents to be understanding and patient all the time - they are human after all. However, parent-child interactions are highly significant: supporting parents with these is integral to early years practice
The American National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC) says:
‘A young child’s relationships and interactions with the important adults in her life have a great impact on her early brain development and ongoing learning. For most children, family members are the primary caregivers who provide this important foundation.’
Educators need to find ways of working with parents that are not intrusive and judgemental, or perceived as such.
It is delicate and complex work.
(The term ‘parent’ in this blog includes parents, carers, guardians and anyone who has care of the child)
Problematic parental interactions
Difficult interactions occur for several reasons. Perhaps a new situation is putting stress on the family, such as the birth of a sibling. Parents may benefit from temporary support to navigate this.
Embedded problems usually stem from a social or psychological issue, such as poor living conditions or an attachment difficulty. In these situations, the family is likely to need longer term support.
Interventions with parents
Imagine a situation where a parent is short-tempered with their child and feels criticised by a practitioner. Or where an educator offers an exhausted parent a list of ‘useful strategies.’ Far from feeling supported, the parent is more likely to feel alienated.
All families have their own ways of relating. It is important that educators reflect on what a helpful intervention might be. One based on an emotional reaction in the moment is likely to be ill-judged.
Parental partnership
The prerequisite for working with parents is building a relationship with them.
NAEYC points out that:
Creating a strong relationship between parents and the school or setting is a key starting point to any intervention. When children enter preschool programs, strong partnerships between home and school can support positive family relationships and promote learning at home. (Kristan Stewart-Henry and Amber Friesen, 2018)
Engaging parents is a two-way process. Educators enter a reciprocal partnership with respect for all that a family has experienced as well as respect for their knowledge of their children. It is very different from telling parents what to do.
5 ideas for building this relationship:
- Develop good communication: share your knowledge of the child with parents. This helps them make informed decisions for their child at home. Equally, ask parents to share their insights with you - this supports you in making informed provision for the child in nursery.
- Respect the parents as the child’s primary and consistent carers and educators: show that you welcome their insights.
- Recognise and respect diversity: promote an inclusive and welcoming environment.
- Work alongside the parents for the child’s best interests: raise concerns and address them collaboratively; celebrate the child’s interests; address areas for development. Encourage parents to do likewise.
- Involve parental participation in your setting: invite parents to come to activities and events.
Research from The Effective Pre-school, Primary, Secondary Education Project (EPPSE)
shows that children’s cognitive and language development at ages 3–4 is strongly linked to positive parental interactions at home.
The Teaching and Learning Toolkit (EEF) states that ‘Parental engagement has a positive impact on average of 4 months’ additional progress.’
In all …
Working successfully with parents relies on nurturing a reciprocal relationship between the setting and the home. Supporting them with a difficulty is secondary to this.
No matter how many ideas and strategies we have up our sleeves for teaching positive social interactions they are ineffective unless we first build strong relationships with parents.
Questions for reflection
- See if you can name the parents of your key children – who did you leave out? How can you set about getting to know them?
- Can you think of something you could do this week to strengthen your relationship with a parent you haven’t connected with recently?
Want to know more?
Hannon, L. and O’Donnell, G.M. (2022) Teachers, parents, and family-school partnerships: emotions, experiences, and advocacy. Journal of Education for Teaching, Routledge
Kristan Stewart-Henry and Amber Friesen (2018) Promoting Powerful Interactions between parent and children. NAEYC