Starting nursery can be an emotionally turbulent time. Tears, clinginess, bursts of anger, moments of excitement and confidence are common aspects of the settling in process.
When settling is well planned, it can give children the sense of security they need to feel safe and ready to thrive in their new environment.
An individual process
There is no ‘right’ way to settle in: it is a unique experience for every child. They each have their own response to separation and new experiences, and these should guide educators when supporting them.
Settling in quickly is no better than taking a longer time. It is important to keep this in mind, as it can be tempting to view a quick settling period as a success story.
Building partnerships with parents
The Education Endowment Foundation (EEF) guidance report states, ‘Parents play a crucial role in supporting their children’s learning, and levels of parental engagement are consistently associated with better academic outcomes’.
This partnership begins during the first meeting between the key person and the family. Home visits, where possible, can provide an opportunity to strengthen this connection. The relationship will continue to develop as the parents and child visit the setting.
It can be useful for the key person to observe child-parent interactions. This can help them identify strategies that may support the child to settle. They may also notice areas where the child or family need additional support.
Parents should be encouraged to speak positively about the child’s experiences at nursery. This can help the child develop a sense that it’s all going to be okay.
*The term ‘parent’ refers to the carer or significant adult who will consistently accompany the child.
Informing parents
Parents need clear information about why settling is important and how it supports the child’s wellbeing and development.
The settling in policy needs to be explained clearly, so that parents know what to expect and what is expected of them. Discussing the policy is an effective way to introduce the settling in process and address any concerns.
Providing practical guidance can help parents feel more confident during the settling in period. Advice should include where to sit, how to respond if other children seek their attention, switching off their mobiles.
Starting the process
Giving the child and parent a warm welcome is essential when they arrive at the setting. Having some of the child’s favourite toys, comfort items, or activities available can help the child feel more relaxed and secure.
Parents and children are likely to be experiencing some feelings of anxiety or uncertainty about starting nursery. Staff can help alleviate these concerns by projecting calm confidence and reassurance.
For children who speak English as an Additional Language (EAL), it can be beneficial for the key person to learn a few simple words in the child’s home language, such as toilet, home, bye, see you later, hot, cold, sad, tired, hungry and thirsty. This demonstrates respect for the home language while helping staff respond effectively to the child’s needs.
Pairing the child with a familiar peer can also help create a positive and reassuring introduction to the nursery environment.
Some children find comfort in having a family photo with them, while others may become more upset when reminded of home. Discussing this with parents can help staff determine the best approach for their child.
If the child gets upset, the key person should reassure their parents that this is a common part of the settling in process. Similarly, staff should offer reassurance and support if parents become distressed.
Want to know more?
EEF blog by Lauren Grocott (2025): ‘Big steps for small children’ The importance of PSED for smooth transitions