When young children find it difficult to manage their emotions, it can impact their well-being and relationships.
It is important to provide intentional support to help them manage their emotions.
What is self-regulation?
Self-regulation is when a person can manage their emotions and impulses.
In the early years we might think of it as the next step after co-regulation: children begin to soothe and calm themselves with less input from the caregiver.
The role of the caregiver is to help the child understand and moderate their emotional life.
Practices that promote self-regulation:
- A safe environment helps children feel supported and that they belong.
How to do this: provide consistent routines to help the children anticipate what will happen next. This helps them feel safe. Some children benefit from a visual timetable showing what they will be doing all day, so they know what will be coming next.
- Naming emotions helps children give words to how they are feeling.
How to do this: discuss emotional responses: How does this make you feel? Identify the feelings of characters in books: How do you think they felt when they hurt their friend? What could they do differently next time?
- Modelling techniques encourage children to take some control of their emotions.
How to do this: use breathing exercises, counting to ten, physical releases such as stretching, jumping or squeezing something. It can also help to have a designated toy, resource, or space to turn to at times of intense emotion.
- Problem solving enables children to navigate challenging situations.
How to do this: look at various scenarios in your setting / in books and reflect on the possible responses. Explore what the children think about these scenarios. Which would be most and least beneficial?
- Collaboration with the family is important in developing a consistent approach to self-regulation.
How to do this: share techniques, insights, and observations. This will help create a partnership that is supportive to the child’s development.
- Engaging with the child’s interests: all children need to discover things that absorb and captivate them. This curiosity helps them begin to find contentment and a sense of who they are.
How to do this: expose the children to a broad range of activities, indoors and out. Observe what they like to do and encourage their interest. Some children may need quite a lot of adult input to find out what they like doing. Working with the family can be invaluable here.
Given a favourable environment, children will learn how to manage their emotions in ways that suit them. And at their own pace.
By Caroline Vollans
Longer reads:
Education Endowment Fund (2023): Self-regulation strategies
famly (2020): What is Self-Regulation? Katrina McEvoy
The Sutton Trust (2019): Developing Essential Skills Supporting Self-regulation - Early Years handbook.
Prof. Sara Baker (2022) What do nursery songs and self regulation have in common?| East London Research School